Post by SweetOne on Oct 16, 2008 0:11:56 GMT -4
Just found this online (long story) from February 2007:
connectmoms.com/2007/02/
connectmoms.com/2007/02/mom-spotlight-tara-maclean-kim-stockwood-from-shaye/
Mom Spotlight - Tara MacLean & Kim Stockwood from Shaye
1) Let us know in your own words about the group Shaye (made up of Kim Stockwood, Damhnait Doyle + Tara MacLean).
KIM STOCKWOOD = About 7 or 8 years ago, myself and Damhnait Doyle sang at a EMI Music Canada 50th anniversary party, with another singer, and the President of EMI thought it would be a great idea if 3 girls did a record together. At the time we were all doing different things and it just wasn't the right time. A few years later it was the right time and Damhnait and I were sitting in a cafe talking about who the third person could be when Tara's song came on the radio. That was the sign we were looking for. We called her right away and bribed her with the promise of Margaritas, and good times.
TARA MACLEAN = Shaye was the name of my little sister who was killed in a car accident 3 months after we started this project. She was a friend to all of us and a beautiful woman. Her name means courage and freedom
in Gaelic. Damhnait was the one who suggested naming the group Shaye as a living tribute to my sister.
2) How would you describe your role within the band and the friendship between the three of you?
KIM = I think I'm kinda the Mom in the band, probably because I'm the
oldest and the one that worries the most. The girls would probably call
me Miss Switzerland!!!
TARA = We have a wonderful friendship. Like any relationship, we drive each other crazy sometimes but we are stuck together so we have to work it out. It is amazing that we have lasted this long!
3) Give us an overview of your home life - ie. tell us a bit about your children, your childcare arrangement, your husband/fiance's career and how you share the responsibilities at home?
KIM = It's tough juggling, but we do it somehow. My 2 boys aged 4 and 1 1/2 are in Daycare, which has been great for them.. My husband and I have scheduling calls where we plan the next couple of weeks duties.
TARA = I have Sophia, a 5 year old girl from my first marriage and Stella who is 1 year old from this partnership I am in now. Ted is a wonderful father to both of my children and is extremely supportive emotionally which is a brand new experience for me! Ted's work schedule is flexible as a yoga teacher/studio owner and he works from home quite a bit. We both cook and do dishes, though I do the majority of the tidying. We have someone come once a month to do a full cleaning of the house. This is the greatest luxury in the world!!!! When I have shows, he will often take the kids . If he can't, I hire a nanny to come to the show. Usually that last arangement eats up any profits from the show but at least we get to play. We have a part time nanny during the week who works from 9am to 2pm Monday to Thursday. She just started and
it is so helpful in alleviating the stress of two careers, two kids and
a house hold to run. There was some natural resentment on my part for
having to be the main caregiver to our baby for so long and having to work. We do the family bed, attachment parenting thing and so I am the primary because I have the boobs. As my girl friend has said, we need wives. So Marivic comes in and makes my life so much easier, and the
tension disappeared and the stress went way down. I decided that I
needed help and was not afraid to say so. I don't feel the need to be super human and do everything including taking on guilt for having
someone help with the baby. I am a woman, therefore, I am already super
human! I pushed that baby out and that is the beginning of learning how
strong you are. There are no caregiving grandparents around so child
care is a major expense, but a nanny isn't as costly as I thought and in
Ontario, it is the same or less than day care! I see so many of my
friends filled with stress and guilt and I find that when that sort of
thing creeps into my life, I am not as patient a mother as I could
be…and patience is the key.
4) Can you describe how being an artist has impacted your family life
and how you handle the demands of a public-facing career?
KIM = I think my priorities have changed for sure. I want to stay home
with my kids a lot more, although a few days on the road is like a
vacation for me now.
TARA = I feel like until now I have been winging it. Taking my kids
with me when I could, and just getting by. It is exausting being on the
road and when you have a nursing, kicking, or sick baby up at night and
you havebreakfast television, you count on the make up person a great
deal. When I was younger it wasn't so bad, but now I am 33 and a night
without sleep is rougher on me than it was in my twenties! I have found
one challenge in particular of having to keep up with clothes for shows
and press. When I am pregnant, I gain a lot of weight…fifty pounds or
so…so I need size 6, 8, 10 and 12 on my way up, and on my way down
after the baby is born, I need clothes that aren't prenatal, but in
those sizes. It is hard and expensive to stay current. If I wasn't in
the public eye, it wold be sweatshirts and leggings. Getting fit after
the baby is also important, because playing a show is a marathon and so
is a tour. You need to have energy! Of course, breastfeeding is
helpful, but it is also tiring and you hold the last 10 lbs until you
stop feeding…at least that is what women with my body type tend to do.
You also have to be careful not to get wrapped up in what you look like
on TV when you have the baby weight on because it adds more weight. In
fact, you pretty much have to let it all go and just love your body for
all it has accomplished and know that part of what we sacrifice in
becoming a mother is our previous shape. It can take two years for our
bones to go back to their original positions and sometimes it never
happens. Everything is different so we must embrace that. So in a
world that is so image driven, it is a battle to let go of seeing myself
from the outside in. It is a test of confidence and inner beauty and
just maybe breaking down the unhealthy paradigm of what a 'successful'
woman is 'supposed' to look like.
5) Of your female friends with children how many of them continue to work now that they have children?
KIM = Most of them.
TARA = Very few of my friends don't work. Many take a year off and
then are happy to go back to work, but a few have stayed home and find
that extremely fullfilling as well.
6) Can you offer any advice for achieving a balance between your family life and your career?
KIM = Learn to say no to things. When your schedule or guilt of being
too busy is overriding the fun, or time with your kids - stop and be
with them.
TARA = I would have to say Yoga is the key to sanity and to balance for
me. Also, time alone in the bath (with no bath toys or children coming
in and out). It replenishes my peace. We also get together at night as
a family and talk about what we are grateful for. Life is a balancing
act, so when it starts tipping one way, it is important to see that and
get back on track. Priorities are important,too. First, our own
spritual well being, then our partner, then our children, then our
community and then our planet. I try to work that way because nothing
can be right if I am not right.
7) Please share with us the greatest adventure you have had with your children?
KIM = Watching them learn, seeing their vocabulary just burst open, and
of course when they tell you they love you is the best thing I've ever
heard in my life!
TARA = With Sophia it is harder to pick one because she is 5 and we
have had so many. We went on an amazing treasre hunt once that took
hours and canoe rides and hikes through the woods and it lead to two
rings, one little one for her and a matching one for me from Ted, asking
us to be his family. Stella came to Thailand when she was 3 weeks old.
We are planning to take them both to India next year for 6 weeks.
We'd love to hear from Moms who are balancing or trying to
balance their lives. I think we can all learn from each other. - Kim Stockwood
Hello Super heroes! If there is anything you would like to know
further, please ask. I am an open book and I have made a million
mistakes, but have had some victories as well. If only there was a
handbook for parenting, but it is a magical, transformative journey that
shows us who we really are, what we have to heal, and where we are the
most powerful. All of this is a part of becoming whole, I presume…so
if we don't go crazy parenting, we might just come through it better
people. - Tara MacLean
Send in your questions about achieving a work/life balance and you will be entered to win one of ten fabulous new Shaye CDs - Lake of Fire. (Contest open to Canadian residents only.)
Tara and Kim can be reached at shaye@yummymummycareers.com
connectmoms.com/2007/02/
connectmoms.com/2007/02/mom-spotlight-tara-maclean-kim-stockwood-from-shaye/
Mom Spotlight - Tara MacLean & Kim Stockwood from Shaye
1) Let us know in your own words about the group Shaye (made up of Kim Stockwood, Damhnait Doyle + Tara MacLean).
KIM STOCKWOOD = About 7 or 8 years ago, myself and Damhnait Doyle sang at a EMI Music Canada 50th anniversary party, with another singer, and the President of EMI thought it would be a great idea if 3 girls did a record together. At the time we were all doing different things and it just wasn't the right time. A few years later it was the right time and Damhnait and I were sitting in a cafe talking about who the third person could be when Tara's song came on the radio. That was the sign we were looking for. We called her right away and bribed her with the promise of Margaritas, and good times.
TARA MACLEAN = Shaye was the name of my little sister who was killed in a car accident 3 months after we started this project. She was a friend to all of us and a beautiful woman. Her name means courage and freedom
in Gaelic. Damhnait was the one who suggested naming the group Shaye as a living tribute to my sister.
2) How would you describe your role within the band and the friendship between the three of you?
KIM = I think I'm kinda the Mom in the band, probably because I'm the
oldest and the one that worries the most. The girls would probably call
me Miss Switzerland!!!
TARA = We have a wonderful friendship. Like any relationship, we drive each other crazy sometimes but we are stuck together so we have to work it out. It is amazing that we have lasted this long!
3) Give us an overview of your home life - ie. tell us a bit about your children, your childcare arrangement, your husband/fiance's career and how you share the responsibilities at home?
KIM = It's tough juggling, but we do it somehow. My 2 boys aged 4 and 1 1/2 are in Daycare, which has been great for them.. My husband and I have scheduling calls where we plan the next couple of weeks duties.
TARA = I have Sophia, a 5 year old girl from my first marriage and Stella who is 1 year old from this partnership I am in now. Ted is a wonderful father to both of my children and is extremely supportive emotionally which is a brand new experience for me! Ted's work schedule is flexible as a yoga teacher/studio owner and he works from home quite a bit. We both cook and do dishes, though I do the majority of the tidying. We have someone come once a month to do a full cleaning of the house. This is the greatest luxury in the world!!!! When I have shows, he will often take the kids . If he can't, I hire a nanny to come to the show. Usually that last arangement eats up any profits from the show but at least we get to play. We have a part time nanny during the week who works from 9am to 2pm Monday to Thursday. She just started and
it is so helpful in alleviating the stress of two careers, two kids and
a house hold to run. There was some natural resentment on my part for
having to be the main caregiver to our baby for so long and having to work. We do the family bed, attachment parenting thing and so I am the primary because I have the boobs. As my girl friend has said, we need wives. So Marivic comes in and makes my life so much easier, and the
tension disappeared and the stress went way down. I decided that I
needed help and was not afraid to say so. I don't feel the need to be super human and do everything including taking on guilt for having
someone help with the baby. I am a woman, therefore, I am already super
human! I pushed that baby out and that is the beginning of learning how
strong you are. There are no caregiving grandparents around so child
care is a major expense, but a nanny isn't as costly as I thought and in
Ontario, it is the same or less than day care! I see so many of my
friends filled with stress and guilt and I find that when that sort of
thing creeps into my life, I am not as patient a mother as I could
be…and patience is the key.
4) Can you describe how being an artist has impacted your family life
and how you handle the demands of a public-facing career?
KIM = I think my priorities have changed for sure. I want to stay home
with my kids a lot more, although a few days on the road is like a
vacation for me now.
TARA = I feel like until now I have been winging it. Taking my kids
with me when I could, and just getting by. It is exausting being on the
road and when you have a nursing, kicking, or sick baby up at night and
you havebreakfast television, you count on the make up person a great
deal. When I was younger it wasn't so bad, but now I am 33 and a night
without sleep is rougher on me than it was in my twenties! I have found
one challenge in particular of having to keep up with clothes for shows
and press. When I am pregnant, I gain a lot of weight…fifty pounds or
so…so I need size 6, 8, 10 and 12 on my way up, and on my way down
after the baby is born, I need clothes that aren't prenatal, but in
those sizes. It is hard and expensive to stay current. If I wasn't in
the public eye, it wold be sweatshirts and leggings. Getting fit after
the baby is also important, because playing a show is a marathon and so
is a tour. You need to have energy! Of course, breastfeeding is
helpful, but it is also tiring and you hold the last 10 lbs until you
stop feeding…at least that is what women with my body type tend to do.
You also have to be careful not to get wrapped up in what you look like
on TV when you have the baby weight on because it adds more weight. In
fact, you pretty much have to let it all go and just love your body for
all it has accomplished and know that part of what we sacrifice in
becoming a mother is our previous shape. It can take two years for our
bones to go back to their original positions and sometimes it never
happens. Everything is different so we must embrace that. So in a
world that is so image driven, it is a battle to let go of seeing myself
from the outside in. It is a test of confidence and inner beauty and
just maybe breaking down the unhealthy paradigm of what a 'successful'
woman is 'supposed' to look like.
5) Of your female friends with children how many of them continue to work now that they have children?
KIM = Most of them.
TARA = Very few of my friends don't work. Many take a year off and
then are happy to go back to work, but a few have stayed home and find
that extremely fullfilling as well.
6) Can you offer any advice for achieving a balance between your family life and your career?
KIM = Learn to say no to things. When your schedule or guilt of being
too busy is overriding the fun, or time with your kids - stop and be
with them.
TARA = I would have to say Yoga is the key to sanity and to balance for
me. Also, time alone in the bath (with no bath toys or children coming
in and out). It replenishes my peace. We also get together at night as
a family and talk about what we are grateful for. Life is a balancing
act, so when it starts tipping one way, it is important to see that and
get back on track. Priorities are important,too. First, our own
spritual well being, then our partner, then our children, then our
community and then our planet. I try to work that way because nothing
can be right if I am not right.
7) Please share with us the greatest adventure you have had with your children?
KIM = Watching them learn, seeing their vocabulary just burst open, and
of course when they tell you they love you is the best thing I've ever
heard in my life!
TARA = With Sophia it is harder to pick one because she is 5 and we
have had so many. We went on an amazing treasre hunt once that took
hours and canoe rides and hikes through the woods and it lead to two
rings, one little one for her and a matching one for me from Ted, asking
us to be his family. Stella came to Thailand when she was 3 weeks old.
We are planning to take them both to India next year for 6 weeks.
We'd love to hear from Moms who are balancing or trying to
balance their lives. I think we can all learn from each other. - Kim Stockwood
Hello Super heroes! If there is anything you would like to know
further, please ask. I am an open book and I have made a million
mistakes, but have had some victories as well. If only there was a
handbook for parenting, but it is a magical, transformative journey that
shows us who we really are, what we have to heal, and where we are the
most powerful. All of this is a part of becoming whole, I presume…so
if we don't go crazy parenting, we might just come through it better
people. - Tara MacLean
Send in your questions about achieving a work/life balance and you will be entered to win one of ten fabulous new Shaye CDs - Lake of Fire. (Contest open to Canadian residents only.)
Tara and Kim can be reached at shaye@yummymummycareers.com